Crossroads
by St. Harridan
Summary: Rukia is caught between the two most important people in her life, and she realizes that it's hard being at a crossroads.


Written for the **March Challenge **on Prompt Bingo, LJ.

**Prompt: **#2 - "I love you, but he's my muse."

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><p><span>Crossroads<span>

Rukia was known for her sharp wit, mind and her above average level of fighting skills as shinigami. What went on around her she knew. Nothing managed to escape her, not even a slight breeze that blew past or the smallest cricket perched atop a blade of grass in the dark of evening.

Though Rukia prided herself in being such a diligent, reliable comrade – one of the best shinigami in the Thirteenth Division – she still found a place within her that was subjected to weakness. She had a flaw which she didn't fancy, as soft spots often gave way to weakness and fragility. She had realized that during her encounter with who was once her idol, Shiba Kaien. During their fight, she hadn't realized it until she was overwhelmed with shock and confusion which lasted for days after his death.

And so, when Rukia found that her emotions were divided between two people, her close friend with whom she had grown up with, and the orange-haired substitute shinigami who sported a constant scowl, she found herself once again thrown into a pit of confusion. The feeling was foreign to her. Without a clue as to what had developed within her, Rukia had gone off in search of answers. Captain Ukitake had been quite helpful – _too _helpful, one might say – and it was from him that Rukia finally realized what was disturbing her.

She wasn't much of an expert in the sentimental world. That was where one went to isolate oneself from others, where one went to fall into the game of love in which no one really wins. As time passed, Rukia found this to be true.

Renji... Well, Rukia couldn't say that she _wasn't _attracted to him. Being a lieutenant – a young and handsome one at that – Renji was very much one of the most eligible bachelors of the Gotei 13. Many times Rukia found herself reminiscing of the past when they used to play around together, or sat in class side by side, trying to stay awake while the lecturer went on and on about the duties of shinigami and the like.

But, before Rukia could drown herself in those bittersweet memories, their past lives as mere children fending for themselves in the Rukon, a gentle shove in the shoulder would snap her out of her thoughts, and when she looked up, it wasn't Renji that she was seeing, it was Ichigo. With his grin and bright eyes, he was quite a sight to behold as the sun shone generously upon his orange strands. Many a time Rukia felt the urge to entangle her fingers in his hair, feel its softness as he held her close to him.

And when Ichigo jerked his head in a silent gesture, indicating her to follow him, Rukia would give into her desires and trail at his heels, leaving Renji behind to catch up like a dog huffing after its master.

Rukia knew it was wrong for her to disregard her friend this way – she was all too aware of his own feelings towards her. The way his eyes shone whenever they settled on her, how his eyebrows would furrow when he saw that she was hurt – everything he did spoke of his growing sentiments. And when Rukia tore herself away from him... Renji's shoulders would slump, though just slightly. He wasn't one to publicly show his true nature, but Rukia knew him far too long to be blind to the pain that surfaced within his eyes.

But, nonetheless, Rukia left him. It was difficult, for she was torn between two people, two young men who each played a vital role in her life. Without them, she wouldn't have been the shinigami that she was now. She may not even be alive at all.

To lift the hurt that plagued Renji, Rukia would brush past him with a smile of apology and a fleeting touch of her fingertips to his wrist, and all he would give in response was a small, strained smile in return. As Rukia made her way to Ichigo, to walk beside him, she couldn't help but feel her heart shattering into countless pieces as the image of Renji's pained eyes etched itself in her mind, a reflection of her betrayal that could never be mended.

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><p>Please leave a review - way more encouraging than a favalert! :)


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